Irreplaceable, The Movie

Last spring a producer contacted me to ask if I'd be willing to be interviewed for a documentary that Focus on the Family was in the middle of filming. It was a documentary that would be looking at the state of the family in culture right now and asking some big questions about what is wrong, where did we stray, and what could be done to fix it.

The result: Irreplaceable. It's screening in theaters TONIGHT, for one night only (May 7th if you live in Canada).

My husband and I attended a screening of it here in Los Angeles at Fox Studios and we both walked away impressed and convicted.

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Sabotaged Love Lives and the Huffington Post

This week I'm writing over at the Huffington Post on love lives, soul mates and disappointment.

Here's a little taste of the article that I co-authored with the talented Ashley Crouch, entitled "How Disney Sabotaged Our Love Lives."

From childhood favorites such as Snow White to adult rom-com staples such as How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days or Sleepless in Seattle, the media perpetuates a romantic storyline in which compatibility and lasting romance is something effortless, built on chance, sustained by good looks, fun dates and electric sexual chemistry. These story lines shape our expectations for romantic happiness. It is not enough to find someone with whom we are mostly compatible, who would make a good parent, with whom we could learn and grow wrinkly; now, we expect a perfect fit and an easy, instantaneous "connection." In short, we want a soul mate. But it is this desire for a soul mate that is actually the undoing of our happy ending.

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The Economics of Sex [Video]

Every once in a while I come across something on the Internet that is just brilliant, that doesn't involve babies laughing or cats playing the piano.

This one is from the Austin Institute and gives us a great visual of a message that would normally seem a total bore:

The Economics of Sex.

About the only thing I remember from a mind-numbing semester of Econ in college was Supply and Demand. Where there's limited supply to meet a great demand, the price of the good goes up. An excessive supply drives down the cost of the good, making it harder for those wanting to sell at a premium to make it in the market.

Now imagine applying that concept to sex. With cool sketches.

The effect: Jaw dropping. And thought provoking.

For some, this may be a tough pill to swallow. There is a lot to digest here, and plenty of it debatable.

GOOD. That's the point.

Watch the video and then let's have a rousing (yet respectful) discussion in the comments.

Here are some of the gems that stood out to me:

Women have something of value that men want. How much it will cost a man varies widely, from a few drinks to marriage.

Sex is not entirely a private matter between two consenting adults.

Men know that sex is cheap these days if they know where to look

Women vastly outnumber men, which means men ... can maximize their rewards with minimal imput.

My favorite:

In reality, men tend to behave as well or as poorly as the women in their lives will permit.

Women working together would be the most rational way to raise the market value of sex.

What stood out to you the most from this video?

An Awkward Chat

An Awkward Chat

Today's post is brought to you by the letter M. As in M for Masturbation.

A couple of weeks ago someone asked in the comments if we could talk about masturbation. 

I had wanted to make this a fun video with graphics, statistics and witty comments to help ease any potential awkwardness that comes from a conversation about masturbation, but I'm learning that "done" is better than "perfectly planned and still sitting in my brain."

The topic of masturbation could go any number of directions so I'm going to hit three of the most common questions that I encounter when it comes to M.

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2013 Book List

Last year I posted the first round-up of my yearly reading list. As I mentioned here, I keep track of what I read each year with the goal of reading a few more pages the next year.

Since last year's post was such a hit, I'm doing it again for my reading list for 2013!

This year, I've also selected my Top 3 Picks from everything I read. I can wholeheartedly recommend them for your 2014 list.

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2014! 2014!

2014! 2014!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Can you believe it's 2014? There's something about this year that is electric with promise, tingling with anticipation, bursting with...ok you get the point.

As I do every year, I'm taking stock of what has worked and what hasn't, both personally and professionally. Which includes re-evaluating what gets posted here, making sure it's content worth your time.

So if there's something you'd love to hear me write more about or see a video on, please let me know!

(If you're curious about what process I'm using to set my goals for 2014, I've been going through Lara Casey's Goal Setting series. I might actually make some goals that will get finished this year!)

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Duck Dynasty, Comedians, and Words

Duck Dynasty, Comedians, and Words

Dominating the headlines last week was the controversy surrounding Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson's interview with GQ magazine and the subsequent action of A&E to ban him from the show.

Everyone with an internet connection or access to a news station seems to have weighed in, so rather than fill your box with more words on the topic, here's a round-up of my top picks.

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Because I Said I Would

Because I Said I Would

This past week saw me at two different weddings, in two different states. I got enough bird seed, champagne and sappy love songs to last me until at least next spring, when wedding season starts again.

But seriously, it was great. I cried, I laughed, I cried some more and was reminded that wedding cake usually looks better than it tastes.

While the vows were different in each of the ceremonies, they were both essentially the same thing: a promise between two people to be there when shit hits the fan.

There was of course the promise to be there during health, wealth and the good times. But that’s not really asking much. Any stranger would probably be happy to hang out with you if you had lots of money and were living the good life.

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That's me in the corner, losing my virginity

That's me in the corner, losing my virginity

How do we define art?

And what is the line between artistic expression and obscenity?

As a young girl, I visited a modern art display in a museum and saw a canvas that had been painted blue. That was it. A plain blue canvas hanging on a wall. Compared to the paintings of Impressionists, the sculptures of Michelangelo or the photography of Ansel Adams, that blue canvas doesn't quite cut it.

Pretty sure a five year old could do that.

If that blue canvas was benign, the latest story of personal expression as art is shocking. Or simply such a blatant attempt at attention that it's sad.

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Is it Ok for Women to Ask Men Out?

Looking for something to talk about with your friends this weekend?

A topic that will keep you going back and forth for hours?

Ask this question: When, if ever, is it ok for women to ask men out?

I guarantee you'll get quite the spectrum of responses, and probably get a few friends fired up!

That's what we're tackling today in this episode of Wisdom for Your Weekend.

Do you agree with what I said or do you think I'm way off the mark? What about exceptions?

 Leave your thoughts in the comment section on when it's ok for girls to ask out the guy.

October Is...

National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

That's a mouthful, I know. And I'm about to lose 93% of you because you're already thinking, "This isn't exactly the pick me up I wanted to start my weekend with."

Stay with me. We all could stand to be a bit more aware of this darker side of relationships, either to face our own experiences or help others get help.

You'll learn some cool new stats you can try out at the next party to head to. Or not. Your call.

 Have you or anyone you know experience abuse in a relationship? How did you handle it?

What to Ask Before You Face the Big Question

"Will You Marry Me?"

One of the biggest questions you will ever be asked or ask in your life. The answer will only radically change your life. So kind of important!

But how do you know if you're ready to ask that question? Or if you can say, "Yes," confidently?

Make sure you've covered some of these smaller, yet equally important, questions first and you'll know if you're ready or you need more time.

What other questions or topics would you say need to be covered before the Big Question?

Leave a comment down below and let's get this list growing!

College Isn't Vegas

I love fall. You can finally start wearing those warmer clothes and the air has a certain chill about it. The leaves are changing and everything is generally just cozier.

If you live anywhere but Los Angeles that is. Here, we're still sweating it out. Oh well. I'll just crank the AC, pour myself a cup of tea and pretend.

Fall also means the start of the school year for many of you. So while you're moving in to your dorms and settling in to campus life, here's a little bit of wisdom to help you kick this year off well.

What other awkward situations can you think of that might come from forgetting that what happens in college does not stay in college?

Ready to rock "The Talk?" (A TeleSeminar)

I'm excited to announce an online webinar that I'll be doing in ONE WEEK (September 11th) with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo at One Extraordianry Marriage.

Geared specifically for parents, it's going to be a fun and informative discussion about how to rock "The Talk" with your kids.

Check out the video below and then click here for more information. There are only a limited number of spaces available, so be sure to grab your spot early!

I hope you'll join me Wednesday, September 11th at 6 pm PST! If you're the parent of a teen or pre-teen, you can't afford NOT to attend.

Click Here to reserve your spot in The Sex Talk Blueprint Teleseminar.

Why I'm not writing about Miley Cyrus

Why I'm not writing about Miley Cyrus

If you've gone online in the past two days, you've probably noticed headlines about Miley Cyrus' dance number at the MTV Awards Sunday night. 

Reactions have been plastered everywhere, ranging from 140 characters of disbelief on Twitter to lengthy blogs condemning, critiquing and grappling with what took place.

Since healthy sexuality is what I’m about, I know I can't go radio silent on one of the biggest headline grabbers of the summer.

But as I read everyone’s posts and Tweets, one thought kept tugging at the corner:


 

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Your 20s matter. Don't waste them.

I'll admit, I've been putting off watching this video. There was just so much else to do, what with a baby coming any day now! But when I finally did, I knew all of you needed to see this, if you haven't already.

Meg Jay: Why 30 is Not the New 20

If you're in your twenties, don't put it off like I did. Watch it today or this weekend.

Why? 

Because your twenties matter. A lot.

They can make the difference between a mediocre life and an exceptional adventure. They're not ten years to get through before you really start living in your 30s. 

Claiming your twenties can actually be one of the most transformative times in your life for work, personal growth, and love.

All the relationship talk that takes place on this blog isn't for you to store away for "Someday," for when you're ready to "Settle Down." It's for today. For helping you learn to be intentional in your dating and relationships now, because it will matter down the road.

Meg Jay happens to agree with me on this one:

"The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one."

Whether you've just hit 20, you're fresh out of college, or looking at only a couple of years left to this decade, claim it and make something of it. Take risks at work, be intentional in your relationships and start living the life you want. 

Who says we have to wait until 30 to start living?

 

Letter to a Graduate

Letter to a Graduate

Dear College Graduate,

Congratulations on finally finishing such a huge milestone! You’ve reached the end of a few grueling years of early morning classes, late night study session, and papers long enough to count as mini novellas.

Welcome to the real world of apartment hunting, 5-minute-showers because now you’re paying for the water, and splurging on a bottle of two-buck-Chuck from Trader Joe’s with friends.

You have your dream jobs (good!) and then you have the real jobs you’re going to need to take right away, the ones that will pay for your food and put a roof over your head. Jobs that will build perseverance, the resume, and the work-ethic you need to survive in this world.

Don’t despise the little things and know that nothing is wasted.

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Killing Prince Charming and Cinderella

Killing Prince Charming and Cinderella

At the risk of incurring the wrath of Disney, and every little girl who has grown up loving Princess stories, I think it’s time we adults take a drastic step:

We need to kill off Prince Charming and Cinderella.

I’ll admit my own little girl will be growing up watching every Disney classic I can get my hands on. She’ll probably play with dolls, hold imaginary tea parties with her dad, and wear princess dresses until I have to peel them off of her.

The problem isn’t with the princess stories or the dreams and fantasies they inspire when we’re young. Those stories are meant to teach us lessons of valor, chivalry, the struggle to find a love worth fighting for, and how to discern between the real princess and the witch masked by a spell.

The problem is that while we’ve stopped playing dress-up with dolls and plastic swords, we’re still living in a land of make-believe and fantasy.

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Guest Posts: Fathers & Daughters and Avoiding Teen Pregnancy

It's a guest post round-up today! I have the privilege to be guest posting on two different blogs, both of which I highly recommend you check out. Not just my posts (though I greatly appreciate the support!) but also the rest of the sites.  

The first is over at The Daily ReTORt, on one of my favorite subjects: fathers and daughters.

Dads with Daughters: Do You Know This? 

The second is over at a great site for couples, One Extraordinary Marriage. 

3 Ways to Keep Your Kid From Becoming a Teen Parent

 

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