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Pornography Exposed

In my previous post, I asked the question:

Is there anything harmful that warrants our intervention, not just for children but possibly adults?

I got responses that ranged the spectrum from support for a total ban to concern that doing so would criminalize adults who are using it in what they deem a healthy and responsible way.

As one reader asked, “…as long as the behavior is kept in the privacy of one’s home, and is not negatively affecting others, why legislate against it?”

Things We Say to Our Friends That Are Not Helpful

Now that I’m married, it’s easy to forget that I once thought singleness would be my status in life….forever. And I was ok with that! But it seemed that other people were not. In an effort to comfort me for what they saw lacking (a guy) they came up with some pretty amazing comments:

“You’ll find someone else.”

“Just wait. Eventually guys will realize what they’re missing and be lining up.”

“You’re probably not going to get asked out a lot, and that’s ok. You’re just so unique! You want someone who gets that.”


Why the draw towards romance?

I received the following question a couple weeks back from a reader named Fellow:

“Why does everyone feel this massive pull towards “romance” and a passionate, vibrant, life-bringing friendship…we all long for that…when we know it doesn’t exist.”

What a question!

Quarter Life Conference

Have I got a treat for you. One week from tomorrow, on Thursday March 21st, there will be a FREE online conference for 20-somethings, where you get some quality face-time with movers and shakers in the area of… wait for it…RELATIONSHIPS.

Here’s the link to sign up: Quarter Life Conference

In anticipation of this great event, I caught up with one of the speakers, Joy Eggerichs of Love and Respect Now (LRN) to ask her a few questions about relationships and her love of unicorns.

When to Walk Away

I’m guest posting this week over at Verily Magazine. Is it time for you to walk away from your relationship? Here are three tell-tale signs:

Now that the aura of Valentine’s Day is behind us, it’s time we remove our rose-colored glasses and stare our relationships squarely in the face. You may find that your relationship is as wonderful as you thought, or you may discover that its time to walk away.

Can Your Teen Recognize Real Love?

​You’ll find me posting over at Roo Mag today on helping teens understand the difference between real love and a crush. No matter where you are in your relationships (or lack thereof), it’s a reminder we could all use.

Meeting with some high school girls the other night, one girl excitedly pulled out the heart necklace with diamonds that her boyfriend had given her. She in turn had given him a necklace with a charm that read, “I love you.”

They’ve been dating for three months.

3 Tips for When Your Plans Capsize

Seven months ago I left my job as the director of an STD and Teen pregnancy prevention program to strike out on my own as a speaker and writer.

Here was my plan:

Build a blog: Check

Write regularly, even if the only audience is your own mother: Check

Sign-up for and go crazy on every social media outlet known to man: Check

Publish my first book for parents: In Process

Take one full year to build up this new job, then start family:

That’s when God fell on the floor laughing.

The War on Women

Have you heard of Malala Yousafzai?

She’s a 15-year-old girl in Pakistan who recently made a name for herself by speaking out in defense of education for girls. Since the age of 11, she’s been writing and reporting on the BBC’s Urdu Service.

The Taliban have not taken kindly to her rising prominence, or her outspoken defiance of their teachings. So on October 9th, they shot young Malala in the head while she waited for her school bus. Miraculously the bullet did not penetrate her skull, traveling instead under the skin along the side of her head. She is now in England recovering and is making an amazing comeback.

What Habits Are You Forming?

It’s unatural, restricting and goes against our natural instincts, which is why people get restless in marriage,” argued my friend as we sat discussing relationships and sexual fidelity. My line of work has a tendency to bring up these sort of conversations.

He’s not alone in thinking that. It’s a line of thought that gets used to rationalize a myriad of behavior in marriages, such as the one I addressed here .

But this looks at divorce only as the sum of the marriage experience and nothing before.

Newsflash: When the city records office hands you your marriage license, it doesn’t come with a giant reset button for all your habits, attitudes and expectations about relationships.

The Most Unromantic Proposal

I was watching The Newsroom season finale this week and …

Spoiler Alert!: Only a small one but if you plan to watch the finale, skip to the (*) asterisk down the page.

There’s a moment when one of the characters, Don, invites his on-again, off-again girlfriend Maggie into his apartment. The lights are off, the living room is glowing with candles and Don pulls out a box. At this point, any girl watching this scene with the sound off would have immediately thought, “Oh, he’s going to propose!”

Which he did. Except instead of a diamond ring as a symbol of his love and devotion, Don offers Maggie a key to his apartment.