Marriage Is Not Valentine's Day Every Day

I'm over at Verily Magazine posting today on what marriage is not. Come join me!

I was on the phone with a friend recently and off-handedly commented that my husband and I weren’t big into celebrating Valentine’s Day. To which she jokingly quipped, “Well that’s because you’re married. Isn’t every day Valentine’s Day?”

I about choked on my laughter.


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Great Sex: Where do you find it?

​Last week I told you that I want you to have great sex. Sex where you were able to bring the whole of who you are - body, heart, and soul- and be free. Sex where you don’t have to compartmentalize your emotions from your body, where you don’t worry about what will happen the next morning, or wonder if that condom really protected you.

That kind of sex doesn’t come easy. It’s going to cost you, as anything worth having usually does.

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"31 Days to Great Sex" Book Give-Away

Have I got a treat for you!

Today I get to highlight an e-book recently published by a fellow writer and speaker, Sheila Gregoire, “31 Days to Great Sex." I also get to give away not one, but two free copies. I find it fitting that the first giveaway on this blog is a book about sex. More importantly, how to have GREAT sex.

I have a thing about marriage. And sex. I think both are amazing. And I think they each make the other better. Try to have only one without the other and it’s like trying to have cake without frosting. Or frosting with no cake. That might sound good for a little while, but you’re missing out on cake at it’s best.


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Beautiful Blogger Award

Jennifer Marion, a fellow blogger, nominated me this last week for a Beautiful Blogger Award. Please go check out her blog, How’s Your Love Life, where you’ll find her sharing from her heart and own experiences on marriage, relationships, and family from a faith-based perspective that will give you a thing or two to ponder as you go about your day.

Part One

I get to share a few new bits of information about myself. So here we go. Feel free to skip to Part Two below for the good stuff:

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Jane Austen on Hooking-up

I was watching Pride and Prejudice this past weekend, which I do every time my husband goes out of town. It has to be the BBC 8 hour version with Colin Firth. If you’re a real fan, you’ll understand. You simply cannot scrimp on Jane Austen’s dialogue or on Mr. Firth. But I digress.

Aside from the intrigue, the scandals, the depth of characters, and the biting wit delivered in refined prose, Austen has an ability to talk about sex, relationships and the male/female dynamic in a manner that is timeless. Take this little gem for instance:

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What Habits Are You Forming?

It’s unatural, restricting and goes against our natural instincts, which is why people get restless in marriage,” argued my friend as we sat discussing relationships and sexual fidelity. My line of work has a tendency to bring up these sort of conversations.

He’s not alone in thinking that. It’s a line of thought that gets used to rationalize a myriad of behavior in marriages, such as the one I addressed here .

But this looks at divorce only as the sum of the marriage experience and nothing before.

Newsflash: When the city records office hands you your marriage license, it doesn’t come with a giant reset button for all your habits, attitudes and expectations about relationships.

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Hope Springs: 3 Important Truths for Marriage

When my husband and I went to see Hope Springs, we were the youngest in the theater by at least 20 years. Clearly, we were not the target demographic.

The movie centers around Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arthur (Tommy Lee Jones), a couple who have just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary. Theirs is a painfully hollow relationship where the passion is as dried up as a mummy, with husband and wife sleeping in separate rooms. 

While this may be a movie geared towards our parents, there are 3 Important Truths to be gleaned for our own marriages, whether just starting out or yet to begin.

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The Most Unromantic Proposal

I was watching The Newsroom season finale this week and …

Spoiler Alert!: Only a small one but if you plan to watch the finale, skip to the (*) asterisk down the page.

There’s a moment when one of the characters, Don, invites his on-again, off-again girlfriend Maggie into his apartment. The lights are off, the living room is glowing with candles and Don pulls out a box. At this point, any girl watching this scene with the sound off would have immediately thought, “Oh, he’s going to propose!”

Which he did. Except instead of a diamond ring as a symbol of his love and devotion, Don offers Maggie a key to his apartment.

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Key to a Successful Marriage...an Affair?

This last week The Huffington Post ran a brief article on an upcoming book by social scientist Catherine Hakim. In it she suggests that having extramarital affairs might actually make for a better relationship. I have not yet read the book, but I did read the excerpt printed in The Telegraph. While we may view this position as extreme, I would argue that the assumptions upon which it is based (at least from what I read in the excerpt) are what I see subtly permeating our culture, our conversations and the attitudes of many my age (20–30 year olds). 

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