Have you read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller? My interest was piqued after reading this hilarious post by Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary, where she describes her time at Miller’s Storyline Conference. This book focuses on the deceptively simple, yet profound, question: What kind of story are you living? One line in particular jumped out at me. So much so that I had to grab a pen and underline it right then.
“No girl who plays the role of a hero dates a guy who uses her. She knows who she is.”
Well said Donald, well said. So many women (and men) I meet are stuck in relationships that are destructive, abusive or just plain a waste of time. They think that’s the best they can get because they fail to see how incredibly special, talented, unique and stunning they are.
They’ve lost sight of their role in their own story.
They’re letting life happen, rather than making the life they want. Settling for relationships that are going nowhere, they’re wasting their lives in a desperate hope that they’ll wake up one day to find it magically different.
I’ve been there. Perhaps you have too. Or maybe you’re still there. It’s a daily fight to remember our role in our story, to keep those dreams alive, working and waiting for the best. But until you begin to see yourself as the hero in your own story, and claim back the leading role in your own life, no one else will.
You were made for a purpose.
You are not an accident.
Your story is one that will never be written again. It is one of a kind.
So live it well.
This isn't about becoming overly confident or getting an inflated ego. It's about a healthy view of self, a perspective that is transformative and life-giving. Not just to us, but also to those who come in contact with us. Because a person living their story well inspires others to do the same.
This doesn't happen over night. Reading this one post isn't going to suddenly redirect your entire life. Not unless you do something. The change comes through thousands of little moments in our lives where we choose to consciously engage in our story, to refuse to settle for average and to be intentional about the relationships in which we invest.
Make it Count
Write down what you want your life to look like in a year. We can’t control everything, but putting it down on paper helps us clarify where we’re headed and be more intentional in our decisions, including where we need to make changes.
- If you’re in a relationship now, is it moving in the right direction? Six months from now, will this relationship be further along or will you have spent that time spinning your wheels and going?
- If you're not in a relationship but want to be, what might need to change to make that a possibility? Do you need to get involved volunteering, in a community organization or at a church where you can meet some other young adults?
Do you see yourself as the hero or heroine of your own story? Or have you stuck yourself back in the chorus?